interesting

I got a call this morning from my ex-husband. He had gotten an email from a friend of mine, who was concerned that she hadn’t heard from me in a week. My ex lives three thousand miles from here; we communicate via email or Facebook every couple of weeks, max.

The interesting part of this, to me, is what went through my mind, before I returned his call. He and I have been divorced since 2000. He’s remarried to a wonderful woman. They’ve visited me here at the creek. But I found myself thinking that maybe there was trouble in their paradise, and he wanted to come back. Oddly, given that I was the one who instigated the divorce, I found that to be an interesting idea.

Most of the time, I enjoy living alone. I do find that I procrastinate, knowing I have tomorrow to do whatever it is, and I tend to schedule events to blast me off my butt. I have a lot of friends and spread myself around, so I don’t overwhelm any one of them. Just lately, I seem to want to overwhelm someone.

This time, last year, I was gearing up for having guests. Autumn is one of my favorite times of the year, and I was going to host two women for the month of October. I have been married twice, both of the weddings in October, the one to the last ex in a lovely outdoor wedding in a park across the street from our home. Next Saturday, I’m hosting a cookout/bonfire for a place I worked prior to retiring. A couple of weeks later, I’m going to a wedding, which will be held at the cottage I talked about a week or so ago, a place with wonderful memories.

It seems I’d better be aware of the effect of October on my psyche. Sometimes loneliness can creep up on you.